Video player not working?0:000:000:00SettingsQualityAutoAudioSpeed1×CaptionsOffCrazy Pcp StoryDula TVFunny videos since 2008Thumbs up0Thumbs down0 Share3K views Jul 2009A man recounts taking PCP, mistaking a young man for a talking orangutan, and bringing him to a bar before waking up in jail facing charges. Show transcript0:01Dog, I'm fucked up, right? I am so fucking fucked right now.0:06I'm, I need help.0:10This is what happened. This past weekend, I supposed to be celebrating.0:15It's the one year anniversary of the twins. One year ago, this past weekend, I got my girlfriend a new fucking set of tits.0:22Fucking big juicy shit too, dog. I've been, and I've been fucking hitting that raw.0:26I've been putting my dick in the middle, everything. So she's out of town, she's in Detroit, right, visiting her mom's, and I'm like, fuck, when she gets back, I'm gonna, dude, I called her up on the phone,0:36I was like, I'm gonna get you fucking pregnant. And so I'm like, I'm a pregame, so I'm all fucking ready to go when she gets off that plane.0:44So I was like, fuck, I'm gonna get raw. And so I guess that was my first mistake.0:50I fucking started doing some PCP. And so I was like, feeling a little jumpy, you know, and I was like, fuck, I'm gonna get out of here, I'm gonna go to the park, I'm gonna fucking look at shit,1:00you know. I get out, I go to the park, I fucking look over there, right?1:04I see like an old man playing chess over here, and I see this fucking ugly hoe walking to bitches and shit, and then I look over to the left, and I see a fucking goddamn orangutan right in the fucking middle of Inglewood,1:19dog, like fucking just staring at me, right? And so I'm like, at first I'm like looking at the ground because I, I read somewhere in the discovery that if you look at a fucking monkey in the eyes,1:28it's like a dominance thing, and then you got to fucking fight, and I don't want to get in a fight.1:33Like, I'm on fucking PCP. I'm just trying to do like, you know, peace and love and shit.1:38So I'm looking down at the ground, but I, every time I look up, he's fucking right over there looking at me right in my fucking eyes, right?1:44And it's creeping me the fuck out. So finally, I was like, fuck it.1:49I grab my fucking balls, I walk over there. I was like, what the fuck?1:55And he does this thing where he puts his finger up and he's like,1:59I'm like, what the fuck? This fucking monkey is telling me to come over, and I get up close to it.2:03I'm like, what the fuck do you want? Are we gonna fucking throw down or what?2:08And he looks at me in the eyes, and he pulls me aside, and he whispers in my fucking ear, dog.2:13I ain't, I can't make this shit up. He fucking whispers in my ear.2:16He's like, I can fucking talk. I'm like, what the fuck? Fucking orangutan is talking to me.2:23So I start freaking out, right? I'm like, what the fu- so you can talk, then what are you gonna say?2:28And he looks at me right in my fucking eyes again, and he's like, I'm gonna get fucked up.2:34So it's like, god damn, let's fucking go, right? So now I'm like fucking excited.2:39So I'm like, well, we can't do it out here, let's go back to my place.2:41So I take this fucking monkey back into my place, right? And I, all I had was some more PCP, so I was like, here, fucking take this dust.2:49So the monkey starts doing PCP, and before you know it, I guess they can't handle that shit.2:54So he's fucking in my cabinets. Before I knew it, he broke every single goddamn glass in my cabinet.2:59It's like, goddamn, when my girl gets back, I ain't gonna get no fucking tit love now because you're fucking breaking all the glasses in my cabinets.3:06I'm like, we gotta get the fuck out. And he's like, well, where we gonna go?3:09I'm like, well, anywhere but here. What do you wanna do? He's like, I wanna get more fucked up.3:14All right. I took him to my fucking local bar, the Joker's Lounge, and we fucking walk in.3:20I was like, anything this fucking orangutan wants, you fucking give him right now.3:25We fucking started doing 2 for 1 tequilas, dude, patrons, everything you could fucking imagine.3:32I was like, you know what, this is gonna cause me to go broke, but I don't give a fuck how many times you fucking get a talking monkey that wants to get fucked up with you.3:40So we start doing all this fucking, you know, shots and shit.3:44Then he's got to go and fucking pick a fight with this fucking thug down at the end of the bar.3:48I step in before we know it, the monkey and me is fighting each other.3:52I'm like, what the fuck are you doing? He's swinging at me and shit with his fucking long arms.3:57I'm like, I ain't standing for this shit. I black out. I fucking got hit with a bottle or some shit.4:02I don't even know. I black out. I wake up in jail the next day.4:07Long story fucking short, it wasn't a fucking monkey. It was a retarded kid.4:13I fucking picked up a retarded kid and gave him fucking PCP and took him to a bar.4:19So now I got like 2, 2 fucking charges against me. I guess, uh, 1, it's illegal to get a retarded kid drunk and give him drugs, and 2, fucking kidnapping.4:31So luckily I got bail posted. I, I know a fucking bail bondsman that always helps me out, so he fucking got me out quick, but4:41I'm fucked right now. I'm so fucked, you don't even know.4:45This retarded kid's family's gonna take me to court. I mean, I've, I've been cutting back on my fucking, on my money and shit, like, I mean, I was trying to make a goal to get 50 pairs of Nikes by the end of the year.4:57I stopped buying Nikes, but I don't even know what What the fuck else I'm gonna do?5:02So I'm a- I'm- I ain't gonna beg. Squeezy don't beg, but I'm gonna ask nicely, if you could contribute anything, please, please send me a fucking message because I'm gonna go to jail for a really long time,5:17and if that happens, I ain't never gonna see the twins again.5:21If you can't do it for me, please do it for my girls. Please send me a message if you can help, please.
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