Video player not working?0:000:000:00SettingsQualityAutoAudioSpeed1×CaptionsOffGenital AmputationDula TVFunny videos since 2008Thumbs up0Thumbs down0 Share2.6K views May 2009After a bicycle accident, a patient learns doctors removed his genitals and offers of a Doberman, a combat jacket and a rusty van as compensation. Show transcript0:01Oh.0:02Mr. Kerniff.0:03Uh, where?0:05Mr. Kerniff, how are you feeling?0:07Where am I?0:08You probably don't remember, Mr. Kerniff, but you were in an accident.0:11A van?0:13No, an accident.0:15You were on your bicycle and you were hit.0:17By a van?0:18That's right.0:19Hmm.0:20Am I all right?0:21Oh, you're going to be fine, Mr. Kerniff. Lots of drink and plenty of hot sleep.0:26I'm afraid to say, however, that you did sustain a very serious injury to your genitals.0:32Oh dear.0:34Oh, as you rightly say, dear. So serious, in fact, that we were forced to remove them.0:40Genitals? Oh no.0:43Oh, as you didn't rightly say, yes.0:50H- however will I manage?0:52Well, did you use them often, Mr. Gurnith?0:54No, but it was nice to know they were there.0:57Well, right. Well, I shouldn't worry too much, Mr. Kenneth. Medical science has advanced a great deal.1:02Prosthetic and substitute legs, arms, even noses are now really quite commonplace.1:07You supply substitute genitals?1:13Say hello to killer, Mr. Kenneth.1:16I don't, I don't want a dog's genitals, for heaven's sake.1:21What an almost amusing misunderstanding, Mr. Cunningham. No, no, no, no, Killer here will simply be your substitute for having genitals.1:31Beg your pardon?1:32Well, surely you've seen people walking around with Dobermans before.1:35Yes.1:35Yeah. Well, for men who have no genitals, the o- ownership of a Doberman or similarly violent animal acts as an important psychological crutch.1:45And I stress the word important.1:49What about making love?1:51Oh, I'm sure Killer will be on for that, won't you know? Yes.1:55Now, in addition, we will also be supplying you with, uh, a diving watch, um, a year's subscription to guns and ammo, uh, and this camouflage combat jacket.2:06Uh, oh yes, and these will also be yours.2:08What are they?2:08Uh, keys to your rusty white. It's parked outside.2:12Doctor.2:13Yes, Mr. Kenneth?2:14I appreciate that you're trying to help here, but I also used my genitals for, you know, e- expelling urine.2:21Oh, but Mr. Kenneth, that's the beauty of the whole system. When people see you in a combat jacket driving around in a rusty white van with Killer here in the back, the piss will be taken out of you constantly.2:33Anyway, I was very reasonable. I said to the bank manager, you know, come on, it takes two to tango.2:38And, uh, he said, yeah, but it only takes one to get out of my office and never come back.
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