Video player not working?0:000:000:00SettingsQualityAutoAudioSpeed1×CaptionsOffLouis Ck Talks About MasterbationDula TVFunny videos since 2008Thumbs up0Thumbs down0 Share3.9K views Aug 2009Louis C.K. tells a stand-up story about discovering masturbation as a boy and an awkward childhood experiment with a friend. Show transcript0:00Before that, I was, uh, it was just me masturbating copiously, happily.0:05I loved it. When I, when I discovered masturbation, I was so happy.0:09I loved it. Everybody loves it. Nobody's, oh, this fucking sucks.0:11It's pretty universally liked. But, uh...0:16I, um, I remember when I first started, and I told, I thought I was the only one doing it.0:21And then I told my friend Jeff, and, uh, he was doing it too.0:25So we started, that's his real name too. It's kind of fucked up that I'm saying his name, but anyway, we were,0:30we were comparing notes about how we masturbated, and I did it, you know, while I was 11, so I was going like this, which I actually did it like this for a long time, because I, nobody teaches you how to jerk off,0:42so like, even once my dick grew, I kept doing it like this until, and then I saw a movie where somebody went like that, and I was like, oh fuck, the whole hand, that is genius.0:52Awesome.1:01Easily one of the best fucking things I ever discovered. I still sometimes this fuck, oh, this is aw- so smart, so smart to use the whole hand.1:08Awesome. To this day, I'm like, fucking, ugh, whoever fucking, yeah, awesome.1:16But anyway, Jeff did it totally differently. Jeff didn't, uh, he we would lie on his stomach.1:20He would lay on his stomach and press his dick into his palm really hard, and he enjoyed the pressure.1:26And, uh, some kids do it like that. I looked it up on, by the way, it fucks your dick up, so don't do it.1:30Don't do it. It's, it does fuck your dick up. But he did, he didn't know, so he was pushing his dick into his palm, and I think sometimes he would put a book on the other, on the behind his hand,1:38like he just liked the pressure, and he couldn't get enough pressure.1:41So he said to me, maybe if I'd sat on his ass while he did this, it would be better.1:47So I did. I sat on his ass.1:54And I remember that moment, I'm sitting on Jeff's ass1:58while he jerked himself off, and I remember thinking to myself, does th- is this gay that I'm doing this?2:09Or am I just a really good friend? Maybe I'm just a good friend.2:17It's weird to think now that I fucking sat on an 11-year-old boy's ass while he masturbated.2:24I mean, I was 11, so it was cool. Now I'd get fucking crucified for that shit.2:30I didn't know what I had, boy.2:34All right, easy. Easy.
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