Video player not working?0:000:000:00SettingsQualityAutoAudioSpeed1×CaptionsOffLouis Cks Last ChanceDula TVFunny videos since 2008Thumbs up0Thumbs down0 Share1.7K views Nov 2009Louis C.K. asks an adult-film producer about making a humiliating sex tape for money, then backs out after learning he has landed a new FX show. Show transcript0:11I've never seen it in a movie. All right, let me know. I gotta go.0:15Bye.0:16Hey.0:16CK.0:17Hey, how's it going?0:17Big fan, big fan. Thanks for coming down.0:19No, thank you, uh, thank you for seeing me.0:22Oh wow, that's right, you called me. Wow, okay, well, what can I do for you?0:26Uh, well, look, I, I called b- because when I found out that you're working, um...0:32Porn.0:33Yeah. Sorry.0:35That's all right, man. You should see my mom try to tell her friends what I do.0:38Right. Well, okay, so here's the thing. I, I, I don't know how to put this.0:43I, I don't know how much you know about me. Um, I used to have a show on HBO.0:48Yeah, Lucky Louie. That was a good show.0:50Thank you. Thanks. So, you know, since we got cancelled, um, I've tried to get a few shows on the air, a few projects, but um...1:00Why are you here?1:02Well, I had this thought. It was actually kind of a joke when I first thought it.1:06Funny guy.1:08Okay, here's the thing. I- I- I- I think while I have this moment of semi-fame, there might be a way to make some money, and I mean, I got to think about the future because I got 2 kids,1:18and I- I kind of don't think my career is going to keep going up.1:22I think it's going to start declining, but maybe right now, maybe I'm just famous enough that if...1:29Well...1:30If there was a sex tape, it might make a lot of money.1:33Yeah, I mean, am I crazy?1:35No, you are not.1:36Well, that's... that's why I'm here. I don't know how to go about this.1:42I don't know.1:42Okay, you want my thoughts?1:44Please.1:44All right, look. I've been in this business a long time, right?1:47Going on 20 years, and I go back to VHS. Now, there are two things that I know always sell.1:54The sexy and the awful. You.1:58I know I'm, I'm the awful.1:59Bingo. Right, people aren't going to go run out and buy a sex tape of you because you're sexy.2:04Come on.2:04Right, no, I know, I know.2:06I'll tell you right now, if there is a really, really awful tape of you out there having all kinds of sex, you, Louis CK, a known standup, been on The Tonight Show, star of Lucky Louie,2:18dude, people will buy it. All right, you'll make money, but it's got to be awful.2:24Yeah.2:25Oh yeah. First off, right off the bat, we're going gay.2:29Uh.2:29Yeah. You ever suck a cock?2:32No.2:32Good, because if you were gay, this would be worth nada. But you, Louis CK, sort of famous comedian, sucking a cock and hating it?2:39Dude, money.2:42Okay, I'm with you.2:44All right. Now, that- that's, that's just the beginning, though, okay?2:47That's what we leak. That's what goes viral, right? 2 seconds or so of you sucking a cock, eyebrows all knit with confusion, but if they're going to buy the tape, there's got to be more.2:58Well, like what?2:59No, I'm just spitballing here, right? But in my mind, I'm seeing you, I don't know, maybe dressed like a clown, a clown comedian, or maybe not, right?3:10Maybe not. Maybe you're like in a bikini. Maybe you're dressed like a, like a lady, right?3:15And you got a cock in your mouth, and you got a cock, a black cock in your ass.3:20Oh, God.3:21Come on, bro. You want to make money or not?3:25Okay, so one in the mouth, black one. Why is it black?3:33Why is it black? Because it's attached to a black guy. What's a black guy going to have, a green cock?3:38Okay, so this guy doing this and then the black guy in the ass.3:42How long do I have to do that for?3:44How long? You know, till they're done, but that's just the first scene.3:49The first scene?3:50Yeah, who's gonna buy a porno video with only one scene?3:52Okay, so what else?3:53Well, it's gotta escalate, right? Once they've seen the blowjob and the double team, they're gonna want to see something they never thought was possible in a Louis CK sex tape.4:01Like what?4:02All right, let's, uh, let's get creative, okay? I'm seeing you naked.4:07Maybe you got a tank top on that's a little too small, right?4:10And you got 2 guys, right? Like, like this, right?4:16You're tugging, you're tugging, and you're tugging, and maybe you got 2 guys sort of finding your mouth, slap and sniff, uh.4:23Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's a slap and sniff?4:26A slap and sniff, you know, a guy smacks you in the face and then makes you smell his cock.4:30And then maybe, maybe you got another guy just resting his cock on your shoulder, right here, just resting it there like a parrot.4:39Oh shit.4:41I know, man, it hurts.4:42Mm-hmm.4:43You know what? It's gonna hurt a lot, but I'm telling you, you do this right, you're set for life.4:48Yeah?4:49Okay, so...4:51first I do the 2 guys, and they finish, and then that jerking off 2 guys in the sky, and then the sword.5:00Right, and the parrot, then the other dude slaps me, and I have to smell his penis.5:10Is that everything?5:12Got another one in your ass, and a dildo.5:15Where does the dildo go?5:16Don't know yet.5:20Okay, so is that it?5:23Maybe.5:24What?5:25I'm just thinking here. Icing on the cake.5:30Two guys shitting in your mouth and laughing at you, but forget I said it.5:32But forget5:33Come on, man.5:34All right, you know.5:35I'm not doing that.5:36You're right.5:36That's5:37You're right. Look, you're way bigger than that. You, you don't need to do that.5:41No.5:41Forget I mentioned it, okay?5:42Thank you.5:43But it would be good. More money.5:46Okay, throw it in.5:48Yeah?5:48Yeah.5:49Wow. You must really love those kids.5:51Yeah, I do. How much do you think we can make?5:55Well, I'm thinking a million in the first year, especially with the mouth shitting bit.6:00Wow.6:06Okay, let's do it.6:08Yeah?6:08Yeah, yeah.6:10Thanks.6:10Oh, sorry.6:14He- hello? Hey, Dave, what's up?6:20What? Oh my God, are you serious? Oh,6:26Jesus, Dave, that's great news. Oh my God. No, no, yes.6:31Look, I'll call you back. Dave, thank you. Oh, oh my God.6:37News?6:37Yeah, I just got my own show on FX.6:39Really?6:40Yes, we go on the air in March.6:41Hey.6:42Oh, thank God. Listen, thank you for your time, but I, I don't think I need it.6:46I'm sorry.6:47No problem. Like I said, big fan.6:49Big fan.6:49Thank you very much.6:49Looking forward to the show.6:50I appreciate that.6:51All right.6:52Okay.6:52Okay.6:56I'll be back.6:59Louis CK is coming to FX in March on Louis.
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