2.3K views Jun 2009
A profane parody of the Slap Chop infomercial shows Vince chopping mushrooms, meat, vegetables, and cheese while making crude jokes about the kitchen gadget.
0:00 Vince here with a penis pump, just fucking with you. It's a slap chop. 0:04 You're gonna slap it, you're gonna chop it. Let's see what can we do with it. 0:07 Did you see that? No? Well, no? Okay, well, fuck. What else we got? 0:11 We got some mushrooms, and you can do... If you've slapped a hooker, you've slapped a chop. 0:17 It's the same shit. You can just chop it. You can just like, you can slap, slap, slap, slap, slap, slap, slap, slap, slap it. 0:23 Look at this meat. It's not kosher, but let's keep that a secret. 0:27 Egg. Pickle! Celery! The remains of that hooker. 0:33 Just slap, slap, slap your problems away. That's what I always say. 0:37 I gotta tell you, though, careful when handling your nuts. I've put my nuts in here countless times. 0:41 I even handle it with care, and they end up looking like this. 0:45 Are you feeling a little fruity? Well, slap it, and there you go. 0:49 Breads open in 1, 2, 3 easy steps, unlike most women, and you know those ones that won't open up, well, fuck 'em. 0:58 Colby. All right, how's this piece of shit work? A bulb of shallot. 1:02 Look at that. Oh God, it's pungent. Look out. A whole onion. 1:06 Now, onions make me cry just like hookers, and what do I do to hookers? 1:10 I slap 'em. You fucking whore! Die! Yeah, yeah. Oh. And then I clean up the mess afterwards. 1:16 That's right, bitch, don't fuck with me. See, there's the slap. 1:20 But wait, there's the grady. And you see, what's great about the grady is you can grate stuff like cheese. 1:25 You just put it in there and you grind it out like entrails, and you just look at that. 1:29 Oh, and then you clean it up, and then you can put this on there if you want, and then you can use this for protection, but who needs protection? 1:35 That ruins the fun. It's 19.95, but wait, if you swear never to tell another soul about this, I'll throw in the grady for free. 1:45 To booty tops. 1:52 Oh, fuck! 
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