A suggestive fan edit of Star Trek: The Next Generation featuring double entendres.
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Star Trek The Sexed Generation. It is the way in which we propagate our species. Please demonstrate how this is accomplished. Let's see if we can get lucky. We are dealing with ancient codes involving procreation. Beg like a human. I need you! That is how the Klingon lures a mate. But what would I say? My love is a fever, longing still for that which longer nurseth the disease. Well, I'm sure you've said that to many ladies before. And invited transgendered species. Your bedside manner needs work. There was a young lady from Venus, whose body was shaped like a. About this long, this thick. Hello. It looks horrible. Tastes worse. He was a bit cocky as I recall. Oh so cocky. Tough little ship. Little? Wrong number one, was almost the longest. Too cocky as it turned out. Humans sometimes find it helpful to have an outsider set the standard by which they're judged. To avoid deceiving oneself. So big. 21 centimeters. Oh. That's good Commander, that's very good. Damn right. It seems that some creatures have the capacity to fill spaces I never knew were empty. How small you've become. It's about to get a whole lot bigger. Saddle up. Our power systems are failing. Uh oh. The growth rate's almost down to zero. As solid as it'll go Commander. No! No. No! Have your sensors indicated any problem down there Lieutenant? None. How shall I live down this humiliation? Well, it happens. A nervous reaction to an impending event of great importance. Your advanced technology has proven inadequate. It's a horrible thing to say to a man. It's weakness. Discuss, I hate it. This has indicated that I am damaged in some fashion. I must find the malfunction. It can't be activated and deactivated simply. I I can't even figure out what's keeping it alive. I will not be able to come this evening. That is because you haven't been properly stimulated yet. I better go down and make an evaluation. I will feel it for both of us. You will service us. It has moved. It reads solid, sir. And once it was triggered, it kept going. It pulses unendingly all through the night. The power drain needed to hold this position is enormous. Move to maximum speed. Just another second, we can't afford a misfire here. Let's just hope it doesn't blow us to Kingdom Come while it's figuring out how to blow us to Kingdom Come. It's going to go. We can diffuse it before it becomes inflated. Let it come. Taste my dessert. Don't swallow it. We know that she is gagged. I missed about two inches of him. When I was a little girl, my mouth was always landing me in trouble. Then I realized, if I kept it up, I'd be doing it for the rest of my life. So I stopped, figuring he'd get the point and do it himself. We certainly have a right to exercise control over our own bodies. Transfer helm controls to manual. And you, Madam, are invited to be a witness. I'll just watch you and be impressed. His hands were moving faster than I could see. Increase? I fear it will snap. It's going to blow. He may have reacted by gripping tighter. In your position, it's important to ask yourself one question. What would Picard do? Come. Transfer in 6 seconds. I busted him up. I know my ship, inside and out. Well then you must know me, inside and out. Just let me touch you. He wants to touch and feel everything. And interface with my verbal program. You're going to have to go down there on my way. It's not going to be easy. A lot of people in and out of there. Been down there dozens of times, I know my way around. You mind if I give her a hand, Commander? By all means. What sort of business do you suppose he is getting down to? Exceptionally vigorous libidos. I certainly hope so. What I love to show you. Doctor showed it to me too. Rather harmless looking, isn't it? Like the eye of a hurricane. You realize the only way to inspect them is to crawl inside. It's a slime pit, but to them it's home. Just sit down and eat. Let's just say you don't want to waste any time once you get in there. Please. Don't rush this. Unless you want to use tweezers. Open your mouth. Prepare for ramming speed. That is not the correct port, sir. We missed. Correcting course. I've heard that before. You felt no satisfaction? No. It was too easy. The more difficult the task, the sweeter the victory. Let's keep this between you and me. You don't tell me how to behave, you're not my mother. I can only guess that he is suffering from classic rejection syndrome. It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Will I ever see you again? I'll call you the next time I pass through your star system. Ed did this. Special Thanks Julian Vinnie and everyone else who put up with all that damned Star Trek. CHECK OUT MY NEW INDIE FEATURE SLAYER-MOVIE.COM COMING TO DVD!!!







