3.3K views Apr 2009
A marketing meeting spirals as executives debate a grape soda mascot whose fruit-themed catchphrase sounds alarming, while clips show him pitching the drink to children.
0:08 You kids look like you could use a delicious fruity beverage. 0:11 Who are you? 0:13 Might I suggest Fizzy Pop's Grape Blast, the new soda from Johnson and Hedges. 0:18 Open wide, kids, 'cause I'm gonna grape you in the mouth. 0:29 He's 0:32 gonna grape them. 0:33 He's going to grape them. 0:35 Yeah, in the mouth. 0:38 Right. 0:39 Sure. 0:40 There's more. 0:41 No, I, I'm sorry, uh... 0:45 All right, well, I'm not sure that I'm comfortable with the catchphrase, I'm gonna grape you in the mouth for our new mascot. 0:51 Yeah. 0:51 I mean... 0:52 We're just not sure about that one. 0:54 Yeah, we might want to workshop it a touch. 0:56 Really? Why? That- that's his thing. He grapes people. He grapes people in the mouth. 1:02 We're just not exactly sure that that is... 1:04 He sneaks into little kids' rooms in the middle of the night, and he grapes them in the mouth. 1:10 Okay, see, because I think that the reason that I'm a little hesitant is because to me, it sounds like he's saying, to me, it sounds like he's saying he's going to 1:23 rape them. 1:24 What? Oh, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. 1:29 What? 1:30 Oh. 1:30 I'm sorry, I, it's sir, get your mind out of the gutter. He's a grape. 1:37 How is a grape gonna rape a ki- what are you talking about? 1:40 But it sounds like 1:42 It's a grape commercial, sir. 1:44 I love it. He like grapes the kids. 1:47 Okay, I mean, if I'm in the minority here, we can keep going. 1:54 Come here, kid! I'm gonna tie you to the radiator and grape you! 1:59 Okay. 1:59 What? Why'd you stop it? 2:01 I'm gonna tie you to the radiator and grape you? 2:05 What? 2:06 I'm going to rape you. 2:07 No, that's what it sounds like he's saying. 2:10 I love it. 2:11 Really? 2:11 Are you back on this rape thing again? 2:14 Why was he going to tie them to a radiator? 2:16 That's how he grapes people. That's what he does. 2:19 No! 2:20 He's the Grapeist. 2:22 The Grapeist? That's his name? 2:25 The Grapeist, classic. 2:26 This is obviously a rape scenario. 2:29 What? Why are you trying to twist a children's soda commercial into your weird, sick, sort of twisted, pervy... 2:38 Why were they running? Why was that child screaming mom? 2:41 Well, that kid is a horrible actor, and the next time we shoot the commercial, we're going to use somebody else, because the thing is 2:47 These kids were obviously horrified. 2:49 Not that girl. Look, she's totally asking for it. 2:52 What? 2:53 Look at her. She's begging to get graped. 2:57 Will you listen to yourself? 2:59 Look what she's wearing. 3:01 Look what she's wearing? 3:04 It's purple. 3:06 Oh, okay. No, no, no. 3:10 Grape those kids, I love it. 3:12 Look, do you guys want the commercial or not? 3:14 Yes, we want the commercial. Of course we want the commercial. 3:17 We want it. 3:18 Here's the paperwork. 3:19 I just have some serious reservations about this whole thing. 3:21 Do you mind? 3:22 No, not at all. 3:25 Buy some today and get a free grape whistle. 3:28 A grape whistle? Really? 3:30 OK, when I finish graping you, I'm going to go upstairs and I'm going to grape your mother and your father, and then I'm going to take your whole family down to the basement and grape you all for decades and decades. 3:39 See, I think this is too much. 3:41 Decades. 3:41 I think it's too much. 3:43 Shh. 
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