1.8K views Oct 2009
Sarah Silverman argues that selling the Vatican could feed the world’s hungry, pitching the idea with irreverent jokes about the Pope and church wealth.
0:00 Hey you, it's me, Sarah Silverman. You know, lately I've noticed a lot of really sad, really long commercials on TV with, like, grossy, sick, emaciated people from all over the world, 0:16 and it turns out they look that way because they don't have food. 0:20 And I know what you're thinking, if you don't like it, Silverman, TiVo passed it. 0:24 I did, you still see them. Especially because, like, I have a 48-inch plasma high-def TV, so every devastating image is in, like, brilliant, crisp, vivid, like it, like they're in my apartment, 0:40 you know. So how do I get these people out of my apartment, basically? 0:44 And I think I figured it out, like, all I have to do is end world hunger. 0:51 And then I'm like, okay, how are you going to end world hunger? 0:56 And then it hit me. Sell the Vatican, feed the world. 1:12 Think about it, we need a hero, and who is more primed to be our hero than the Pope? 1:18 He's literally a caped crusader. What is the Vatican worth, like 500 billion dollars? 1:25 This is great. Sell the Vatican, take a big chunk of that money, build a gorgeous condominium for you and all of your friends to live in, all the amenities, swimming pool, tennis court, 1:36 water slide, and with the money left over, feed the whole fucking world. 1:44 You preach to live humbly, and I totally agree, so now maybe it's time for you to move out of your house that is a city. 1:52 On an ego level alone, you will be the biggest hero in the history of ever. 1:57 And by the way, any involvement in the Holocaust, bygones. 2:03 I know some of you out there are like, well, why don't those bums get a job like the rest of us? 2:08 Well, did you know that the average Arby's employee in Ethiopia only gets paid nothing an hour because they don't... 2:17 they don't have one. They don't 2:20 have one. 2:24 The bottom line is this. If you sell the Vatican and you take that money and you use it to feed every single human being on the planet, you will get crazy pussy, all the pussy. 2:42 And I don't mean literally, that might not be your cup of tea. 2:45 I don't know what your version of all the pussy is, but you'll get all the pussy. 2:54 Amen. 
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